Mimpi Selamanya

Terlalu Manis

2007-09-17T11:14:00.000+08:00

Kuambil gitar dan mulai kumainkan
Lagu lama yang biasa kita nyanyikan
Tapi tak sepatah kata yang bisa terucap
Hanya ingatan yang ada di kepala
Hari berganti angin tetap berhembus
Cuaca berubah daun-daun tetap tumbuh
Kata hatikupun tak pernah berubah
Berjalan dengan apa adanya
Di malam yang dingin dan gelap sepi
Benakku melayang pada kisah kita
Terlalu manis untuk dilupakan
Kenangan yang indah bersamamu tinggalah mimpi
Terlalu manis untuk dilupakan
Kalau memang kita tak saling takkan terjadi diantara kita

tag?

2007-08-27T04:47:00.000+08:00

1. Tell us your name:
depends. different people call me by different names and i treat people differently according to the names they call me by

2. Three things about yourself:
oxymoron. bittersweet. cruelly-kind. lol

3. What’s in your playlist:
bunch of Indon songs, some acoustic versions of some songs made by me and some frens. heh. and Kekasih Gelapku by Ungu, Disini Untukmu also by Ungu and Million Miles by Too Phat and Siti Nurhaliza

4. Your favourite music:
something with a nice beat

5. Favourite guilty pleasure:
Haagen Daz Macademia Brittle - think no longer in production
Cote D'Or Chocolates - especially the dark ones

6. Favourite food:
i'm a Singaporean. i LOVE food

7. Define love:
depends on usage. heh. but to me, its fleeting and yet eternal. moments of eternity = love in my opinion.

8. Define sex:
depends on usage again. can be considered plumbing on humans. haha. or gender...

9. Any celebrity crushes?:
naaah... i am attracted to inner beauty. SERIOUSLY...

10. The last person you hugged:
unsure. was at the airport so my family?

11. The last person you talked to:
tricky cos i was having 3 conversations on MSN

12. The last time you cried:
a couple of weeks ago. haha. i dunno why but i woke up with lil tears. bleargh

13. The last time you had sex:
too personal. define sex

14. The last time you made out:
too personal

15. The last person you dated:
a sweet angel who was sprouting her wings

16. The last time you went out:
just now? to the store

17. What’s on your mind now?:
tricky question. haha. too many things goin on in my head

18. What’s bothering you?:
too many things, mostly personal

19. This year’s resolutions:
ermmm...

20. Your MSN nick:
eRwin - namun tiada pun yang tahu

21. What’s your MSN nick about?:
cos no one will ever know

22. The people you miss the most:
i tell them so they know

23. Current mood:
disembodied.

24. What are you thinking?:
life aint fair? its dark... oh wait... its evenin and lights not on.

25. Best childhood memory:
hitting on the primary 6 girls when i was just primary 4! hahaha.

26. 3 of your biggest fears:
heights cos i suffer from vertigo, failing, time

27. Who do you love?:
family and ... hahah.

28. 3 of the things you hate:
me, myself and i. yes i detest myself. heh

29. Do you blog?:
sadang

30. Tag 5 people:
Ta the twerp
the girl with an angel smile
socialpest
Wangz
Pinkz

me and my big mouth...
back in NY.
freakin nice weather.
in another month comes the snow though. what a ho. lol

More everything

2007-08-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

what are you doing?
you said you couldn't do anything by yourself...
that's what you said...
but then when left, you said you'd do everything by yourself...
i still think about you now...

sneak peek at the new and most likely last song ill ever write.
time to grow up. heh.
school in 3 weeks and my final yr abt to start so gotta buck up.

i miss u still but u wernt there when i needed u most.
its ok though. heh. just that u were missed.
goodbye dear angel.

Million Miles

2007-07-28T20:07:00.000+08:00

Somebody told me once that
Patience is a virtue
And true love is worth waiting for
Although it might just hurt you

And if it comes right back,
That means it’s truly destined
I promise to hold back the tears,
Never say never

And you know i'm thinking of you
All through out your endeavours
And if its part of His plans,
One day we’ll be together

A few things last forever,
So I write this poem
A lot of times, you won’t miss it
Right until it’s gone

And though I soldier on,
These feelings in my heart
Will never change
‘Cos I loved you from the start

song's revolvin in my head. think had it on repeat on my ipod while in the hosp tadi. decided i am taking a looooong haul break from bloggin to. and i am off to the hosp again after this. kinda wanna stay by nenek's side til she's discharged so sorry if i am not online next few days yea... til nxt or somewhere new. bye.

Still

2007-07-28T03:24:00.000+08:00

a lil confused and triffled disappointed with myself.

if only...

its still u. heh. but it aint me =(. haha.

might be goin on a hiatus.. again. haha. we'll see...

Mimpi Selamanya

2007-07-22T04:59:00.000+08:00

Aku terlanjur
Ku terlanjur sayang
Menyayangimu...
Sayang mengapa
Bukan hanya aku
Yang merindukanmu...
Selalu...
Terbagi...

Mungkin kau bukan
Yang bisa kumiliki
Selamanya..
Mungkin kau hanya
Akan menjadi milik
Selamanya...

Aku sendiri
Ku sendiri lagi
Dan memikirkanmu...
Mungkin saja kau bukan
Bukanlah yang ku tunggu
Selama ini...
Di hati...
Di jiwa...

Mungkin kau bukan
Yang bisa kumiliki
Selamanya..
Mungkin kau hanya
Akan menjadi milik
Selamanya...

things happened. alot has been said and a secret has been revealed. i jus dun wan ppl to get hurt. anyway i jus like this song and i hope people wont get the wrong ideas. its not bein interpreted the way u think it is. people think differently and by god, u all know i think waaaay differently then any other.

i still care sweets. heh but i am not one to hold u back and i promised remember? and havent i always kept my werds?

to someone else, thank you for not bein a bitch abt everythin. i know u found out abt this blog already babe. we're frens no? and yea, i am an ass. heh. never denied it and pls cont NOT callin. hahaha. i hope u understand why i am this way.

to Din who i know dunno abt this blog, hahaha. screw u bro. stop comin over drunk. i am out of excuses why my bedsheet smells weird or why i have to change it every 2 days. heh.

4 more weeks... soon i am gone again for another 2 years. oh yea, parents sellin house...

You're A God

2007-07-09T03:29:00.000+08:00

I am back from my lil trip to the "wild" side. heh.
it was interestin... 7 guys and 4 gals... 2 couples and it didnt turn into an orgy. lol.

Guys:
me - on the outs. sigh. lol
Yusdi - jus out of a 2 year rship
Din - FIRST divorcee!
Budi - jus out of a 6mth rship
Fami - jus hopin to score with a gal. wahaha.

Couples:
Fazli & Maya - 2 years and damn... bila tunang?
Chan & Hana - 8mths and goin... hmmm... chaotic?

Girls:
Linda - air stewardess fren of Hana *(6,5,6)
Min - air stewardess fren of Hana *(5,6,5)
* = (face /10, figure /10, character /10)
yes i am bias. so sue me.

anyway... the trip opened my eyes to somethin i didnt really realise... i CANT have a gal i really care about as my gf. i turn into a wuss whenever i do. sad huh? wahaha. and yes i am on a high right now cos i jus listened to some of the acoustic jammin stuff and i sounded good. usually i cant sing for nuts...

ok i am bein prasan here. heh. but... if u do got the time, listen to them and gimme some reviews on msn eh? take note, the feelings in the songs are/were real. haha. but good thing is, i AM passed most of the emo stuff now. got overloaded with too much jiwangness this weekend til i am jus numb/sick with it all. haha.

Sampai Menutup Mata
i love this song cos it is damn true thus its the 1st i attempted solo...

Aku Bukan Untukmu
i know i sound weird but it was 2am and eveyone was just bein weird and sweets dun get the wrong idea...

Ruang Rindu
Chan on vocals... for his dear lovely airstewardess gf, Hana. heh. happy bro? and me on guitar of course.(yes must add the of course part)

Izinku Pergi
i know this song is kinda very softy but... i kinda liked it and yes that IS me on vocals and guitar. again, dun assume. haha.

Menghapuskan Jejakmu
Fazli on guitar and yes i know i sound sengau but i am "feelin" this song so yea i insisted i sang it. heh.

thats not all. there are other songs but i havent uploaded them.. theres ungu's Tercipta Untukku and Letto's Sandara Hati but 5 songs is abit too much sudah. heh. if u want to dload, ask me and i will send. (shameless me huh?)

Masih

2007-07-03T22:14:00.000+08:00

Dan bila kau harus pergi
Jauh dan takkan kembali
Ku akan merelakanmu bila kau bahagia
Selamanya di sana walau tanpaku (u know i will)

Ku akan mengerti cinta (u know i do)
Dengan semua yang terjadi
Pastikan saja langkahmu tetap berarti

Bisakah aku tanpamu? (i dunno)
sanggupkah aku tanpamu? (i already set u free)

Sehangat pelukan hujan,
saat kau lambaikan tangan
Tenang wajahmu berbisik
Inilah waktu yang tepat tuk berpisah

Selembut belaian badai
saat kau palingkan arah
Jejak langkahmu terbaca
Inilah waktu yang tepat tuk berpisah

Ku akan pahami cinta (i really do)
Dengan apa yang terjadi
Pastikan saja mimpimu tetap berarti

*Aku tak pernah
mengharap kau tuk kembali (i think maybe)
Saat kau temukan duniamu
Aku tak pernah
menunggu kau tuk kembali
Saat bahagia mahkotamu, (as long asu are happy)
bila kedamaian slimutmu

Jangan kau kembali (if u find someone new...)

in short, i love u and i understand. heh. if u love someone, set them free so they can be who they are meant to be. if they come back, u kno its meant to be so some day come back yea? heh. seriously, thank u for the beautiful memories and those moments of eternities. i am still here but unlike ur ex-s i wont stalk or bugger much. heh. if the position eva opens up, remembr me baby cos honestly i'd say "welcome home" anytime. love u.

An angel's smile

2007-06-24T09:12:00.000+08:00

not an original of mine but i like it and it goes to someone vry dear to me.

If i look up at the heavily clouded sky
and i'm still walkin my way around
i'll feel lost and half hearted
but when i think of that favorite gal of mine
it keeps me puttin my foot forward

even if it gets heavier
as i make my way home
the way home which leads to u
i'll make it cos
my gal, has an angel's smile...

sucker

2007-06-20T13:17:00.000+08:00

i am blackmailed into doin this...

i'll get even...

Ever kissed a blonde haired, blue
eyed person?
&& yea

Can you see a phone right now?
&& does my cell counts?

What are you listening to?
&& my own recordin/rendition of a song.

Where is it coming from?
&& my handphone

Last thing you ate?
&& waffles...

What was the last thing you saw on
TV?
&& i dunno... i seldom wtch tv

Who was the last person other than
family you saw?
&& talitha and jeremy

Are labels/stereotypes good?
&& heck yea. all guys are asses and all gals are... ermm....

Last alcoholic beverage you tasted?
&& been sober for months

Song stuck in your head?
&& sampai menutup mata

Acoustic or Electric guitars?
&& electric though acoustic at times...

Do you dance while getting ready
for whatever?
&& lol

What are you wearing?
&& berms and no top and i can still pull it off!

What is the greatest number of
people you've been in front of?
&& the gig in 2000.

Have you gone skinny dipping?
&& yea... not advisable though...

Have you ever taken a shower while
you were drunk or high?
&& yea... fastest way to get sober

Do you like techno?
&& lol.

Have you ever been to a night club?
&& night club?

Have you ever made out on a plane?
&& no and i doubt i ever will. heh

Do you have leadership skills?
&& ask my those under me dulu

Can you play an instrument?
&& guitar

Have you ever sat on a roof and
looked at stars?
&& yeaps

Ever done that while talking on the
phone to a boyfriend or girlfriend?
&& sadly it was when i was comfortin a fren

Does the song Stairway To Heaven
make you sad?
&& Errr... it was a great led zepp song but not really sad

Do you have any instruments in your
room?
&& not mine

How many boyfriends/girlfriends
have you had?
&& somethin i cant answer

Have you recently gotten someone
pregnant?
&& sincerely, NO and for the last time i am SURE.

Do you have a girlfriend?
&& yea

What scent are you wearing right
now?
&& none. i am jus chillin at home la

Are there any animals around you at
the moment?
&& a monkey who dropped by to lend his guitar

Drinking anything at the moment?
&& iced teh... haha. teh png!!!

Ever thought you were going to get
married?
&& sensitive issue

Last person you told you loved?
&& the missus

Last person who told you they loved you?
&& the missus

Favorite time of day?
&& 2/3am cos thats when we have our 5-10 min goodbyes

Favorite video game?
&& Fallout 2. WorldofWarcraft aint toobad.

Favorite food?
&& sambal goreng...
bbq pari...
eh... i'm a s'porean i eat almost anythin.

Do you like spiders?
&& me<--laba-laba man, cousin to spiderman

Cat person or dog person?
&& lol. just thought of somethin perverted.

Got a job?
&& is life a job?

First love?
&& complicated

Tan or pale skin?
&& who? me? tan of course

You're deserted on an island, what do you have with you?
&& her. if cant i wanna have a laptop with infinite power and internet and some cool drinks. food too. maybe an infinite fridge and a microwave.

Favorite lyrics?
&& "i know that u believe,
in the one true god above.
thats why u're waiting,
for ur one and only love.
do your feet hurt?
did u fall from heaven..." do your feet hurt -mxpx

"if u own a brain and use it too,
u gotta know that i got a crush on u...
i'm a sucker for a level headed gal with a pretty smile,
she gotta have ideas yea and she gotta have style..."

Biggest regret?
&& not takin control of my life when i had that chance

Did you have a New Years kiss?
&& nope

What do you want the most?
&& to have less worries and responsibilities

Do you want children?
&& interestin question

Are you a lover or a fighter?
&& depends on situation.

happy i did this?

can i pls have that ice-cream now?

and yes i did this for an ice-cream... its haagen daaz macadamia brittle. i cant say no...

Back from KL

2007-06-17T02:43:00.000+08:00

i jus got back from kl.... nth much to say. jus take care....
posing like we are lost. damn fun. haha. ppl gave us weird looks.

somewhere in klcc. and i had that azuki flavor frapp. tasted like ice-cream...
i can see this jus as a big H or as 2 space shuttle abt to launch or a cosmetic surgery gone wrong. think madonna's pointy bra. lol.
the twerps each had their own graffiti and i wanted mine. haha. so i had to do that expression. i like the art though. and yea, my ipod earpieces looks like nipples, i know. lawl.

i missed her more then anythin. yea... whiney but...

I'm missing you -Bobby Tinsley

2007-06-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

sorry abt the lack of updates. been knda distracted.

on sundays had 2 wedddings to go to and a visit to the hospital cos of a granduncle.

then on monday was busy gettin my specs and settling some stuff...
wat stuff? my tix and somethin else...

i thank u for the sweetest present my dear adorable gf. was very very surprised and i love it. though it kinda felt unsettling cos i am not used to receiving things.

i am off to KL from wed til sat evening i think. might meet Ain (Farin) and Nanie when i am there. been awhile since i saw Ain. 2 years? heh. and she's one of my oldest fren. 10 years and we've gone thru some interesting stuff. heh.

and oh yea, jus got back from movie (ocean13) and dinner with Lin and Zae. i seem to have alot of female frens no? and most happen to be hot babes yea? haha. i kinda told them abt her and they were busy all night naggin at me or gossipin. haha. nagging at me why am i out with them instead of being with the missus.

anyway as said i am KL bound in a couple of hours. gotta pack and get ready.

and damn.... i am missing her already.... 2 more weeks...

Sun and burnt

2007-06-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

yea... oh crap.

last night was pretty eventful.

it sucks when u cant be there for the one u care about.

i wish i am there to help share the burden or lessen it in anyway.

i wish i am there to make it feel easier.

my 3rd wish? to hug u til u fall asleep and wash those worries away.

and.. with barely 2-3 hr of sleep i had a family thingy in sentosa. 9am til 5ish pm.
ppl present? abt 15 families. so roughly 40ish ppl with the aunties talkin/gossipin and the guys playin the sports. the older generation got their asskicked. lol/

reach at 9am and did loads of stuff like beach soccer, beach rugby, etc. i realise when u add "beach" and family to any sports, full body contact is ok. i got tackled so many times by my uncle and i even saw my cuz goin all out for the legs durin the games. that 10 year old actually tackled an uncle with both legs prematurely. lol. it was nice but to be honest, half my mind was elsewhere.

i got tanned liek mad. dammit.i burn too easily. and... the damn sand was too hot. think i kinda hurt my feet again. haha. and yes, the "pah" inc were victorious in our matches. heh. "pah" inc is made up of ALL the ppl in my generation and "pah" comes from my dear grandma's name. so all her grandkids are in "pah" inc. we got the "pah"wer. yea.. lame but thats what we all do when theres a get together. all in black with our seniority written on our sleeves. mine is 02 cos i am the 2nd eldest... close enough to my 12 anyway. heh. 12 is my number and all my jerseys from waay back in secondary school, no matter the sport, shows the no. 12 tag. why 12? cos it looks like the letters I R. 12 looks like R from afar no? i dunno if it makes sense...

i'll post the beach pics as soon as my sis sends them over.

oh yea.. and tasya said the cutest thing abt my wall paper.

tasya: the gal lawa. later tasya big like her kan?

and yes, she was referring to my dear gf pic. heh. damn cute la she... and by she, i mean both of them.

oops i did it again

2007-06-05T16:39:00.000+08:00

almost a week since last update.

wat's up? well quite a lot.

spent last wed and thur at my aunt/grandma's.

had futsal on thur mornin. got 2 bloody feet (blister and all)... cos wore wrong shoes.
my fitness sucks. but did win 5-2, 5-2, 5-3, 2-0. lol.
dear cuz, namely, abg fard, shafi, indra and martin. u owe me 50 "ketok-ketampi". lol.

sat spent chilling at home and later on watchin shrek 3 with mum, sis and some of the cuz. then chilled til midnight drinkin coffee. haha.

sun was gardenin. got totally tannd. dammit.

finally, abt the missus... she hasnt been feelin well. since wed actually. wish i was there cos some stuff happened esp this week. from me gettin some jealousy/panic attacks to her gettin some insecurities. all cool now though. it's pretty sweet that any issues we have get resolved in jus hours, no matter the severity. from me contemplatin spikin her friend's meal with loads of laxative for talkin abt issues i wanted to tell her myself and jealousy cos he spend too much of her attention to her havin 3 ( ? ) guys hittin on her. sorta anyway...

thank u baby for bein who u are. for believin in us and bein such a sweetheart. soon yea? miss ya already.
yea i am sweet and mushy when it comes to her. deal with it. lol.

i am continuing the fairytale in a week. but doin the "her" version. =p

She

2007-05-30T00:17:00.000+08:00

its weird but i miss u and i am worried though i know u can take care of yourself.

and yea, dun werry i wont do that surprise.

u should know i will be trying to make u smile most of the time.

thing is, u always manage to make me smile.

thank you.

for everything so far.

and heres to more sweet memories baby...

Things to take note

2007-05-24T11:52:00.000+08:00

Faggot or fag, is a generally pejorative term for a gay or effeminate man.

Gay is used as an adjective to describe sexual orientation and is usually chosen instead of homosexual as an identity label.

Effeminacy was traditionally considered a weakness, indicative of other negative character traits and more recently often involving a negative insinuation of homosexual tendencies.

as quoted from Russell Peter... "Be a man!" cos if not "somebody gonna get a hurt real bad" especially ur ex once she find out u swing that way.

and yes i am mockin someone. sorry. jus cant help it. hahaha.

Kay...

2007-05-20T19:48:00.000+08:00

i made private my last post cos i realised it jus complicates things.

ho well... laterz.

ZOMG! A Fairytale...

2007-05-18T10:56:00.000+08:00

i'm takin a chance here. if it upsets, give me a chance to xplain. otherwise it is a flight of fancy... sorta.

disclaimer:
some facts might be wrong or exaggerated a little but bear in mind its from the guy's pt of view so expect a little ego-fest BUT most of the stuff is accurate or as accurate human memories can be. pls b informed that the gal is very sweet and she didnt know wat was goin on. it IS a guy who is telling the story. haha.

Title: For Someone
anyone ever has thos moments where u felt it was fate's werk all along?

Chp 1.a As told by the guy:

Aug 05
boy meets gal by chance.
"my fren said u can help"
"sure. wow... sweet gal. urgh. gf jealous..."
problem settled.
"jus say when u need help"

Days later
"hey, my fren needs help"
"sure"

Time passes
happens a few more time.

June 06
boy breaks with gf.
"hey i'm depressed"
"so am i. 2 guys..."
"make things simpler, screw them and chose me"
"haha"
"wats so funny?"
"nvr leave the one who love u for someone u like, cos the one u like, will leave u for the one they love"
"..."
("i was startin to like you but why did you haf to tell me that?")

Aug 06
"me and my bf are back together"
"oh? grats. me and my ex too"

Jan 07
"hey, i broke up with her"
"cheer up. do u want me to help?"
"help do wat?"
"just to be there as a fren"
"thank you but its ok"
("don't do that i'll fall for u again")

Feb/Mar 07
"where did u disappear to?"
"had stuff to settle"
"i missed u"
"miss u too. sorry i went w/o tellin"
("cos u have a bf")

early April 07
"hey i am sorry"
"why?"
"i like u and i know u haf a bf. sorry"
"that hurt"
"i'm gonna go awhile til i sort it out"
"u're jus goin again?"
"sorry"

mid April 07
"sorry i tried but i couldnt"
"i needed you"
"i know and i am sorry"
"its ok... u'r back now"
"yes, and i will always be ard and help you smile"

May 07
"i couldnt stand it anymore so me and him are thru"
"try to cheer up"
"how?"
"i dunno but i'll try my bst to make sure u do"
"thank you"

later
"i like him but..."
"take a chance"
"no... i dunno..."
"wateva it is, i'll support u"

later
"why did u say that?"
"say wat?"
"now he wont even talk to me"
"i'm sorry it was jus joke"
"u scrwed it up for me"
"sorry"
"i hate u"
"sorry"
("i regret hurtin u again but... i'm jealous too")

Later
"i'm sorry. hugx"
"i'm sorry too... i didnt mean to make u cry"
"i'm goin away from all this"
"ur turn to run?"
"u can still find me"
"i'll try to make u smile"

later
"i'm comin home but i dun wan to"
"why?"
"cos it sucks and it makes me sad"
"try goin home, i'll make sure u smile"

...

"OMG..."
"like it?"
"thats the sweetest thing i've had in a long time"
"glad u like it"

So wat was that gift? Tune in for PART 1.b. to find out!... lol. so far how is it?

Randomness

2007-05-16T20:24:00.000+08:00

Ok....

Been sleepin a lil on the less side, not that i care (somethins are worth waiting for).

Template? gone to wtf land...

Meh. jus randomly askin...

what is eternity to u?

a) for along period of time, boundless, forever
b) uh.... crap...
c) eternity is what ur heart needs to feel
d) everytime i think of u, that is when i feel eternity
e) random 2 of those listed above...
f) u know... that...
g) batman and robin gay
h) a better question is why askin this?

Hey sweets, wake up. hahaha.

Hmmm...

2007-05-15T00:10:00.000+08:00

K.

Sorry abt delay and downtime been busy with exams/packin and finally got back my net.

Been fiddling with the the template and in the end... Buggers.

Anyway, updates...

I am...
a) in S'pore
b) hiding from the asshats cos too lazy to go out
c) FINALLY exercisin after 3 years of bein out of shape (read out of shape, NOT fat)
>those naysayers, i am only 67.5kg and 1.77m... ideal BMI and watnot for a guy and ladies, get mad cos i can't get fat. yeay for genetics.<
d) seeing someone... KINDA... (look! a flyin monkey. *runs from the angry horde and busybodies*)
>she's nice la. jus a lil koo koo at times. who is she? if u know, u know if not, too bad. heh. pls dun assume who she is? rumours are nasty<

No comments/tags anymore. hit me on msn if anythin. too lazy to deal weith BS.

Under your nose

2007-05-04T10:41:00.000+08:00

Know whats the problem with us humans?
we NEVER see whats right under our nose or higher then our head and seldom do we look back.

Sometimes things come a little too late to realsie what you miss if you don't look around and think ahead.

Masks?

2007-04-26T16:55:00.000+08:00

Some in this world have many different faces.
When they want to switch faces,
Its like switching masks in a theatre.
Its probably even easier than switching masks.

The more they switched,
The faster they forgot what they really looked like in the first place.
The longer they kept their masks on,
The harder it was to ever take them off.

Because they figured,
The more masks they have,
The less disappointments.
Less things they had to face up to.

lemme open up with that piece of poetic rambling. heh. and yes, i got loads of masks. welcome me back to blogging.